Brandon J Usselman - Online Memorial Website

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Brandon Usselman
20 years
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This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Brandon J Usselman who was born in Jamestown, ND on February 25, 1984 and passed away on June 13, 2004. You will live forever in our memories and hearts.

Unless you've lost a child.......then

Don't ask us if we are over it yet. We'll never be over it.

A part of us died with our child.


Don't tell us they are in a better place.

They are not here with us, where they belong.


Don't say at least they are not suffering.

We haven't come to terms with why they suffered at all.

Don't tell us at least we have other children.

Which of your children would you have sacrificed?


Don't ask us if we feel better.

Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.

Don't force your beliefs on us.

Not all of us have the same faith.

Don't tell us at least we had our child for so many years.

What year would you choose for your child to die?


Don't tell us God never gives us more than we can bear.

Right now we don't feel we can handle anything else.

Don't avoid us. We don't have a contagious disease, just unbearable pain.

Don't tell us you know how we feel, unless you have lost a child.

No other loss can compare to losing a child. It's not the natural order of things.

Don't take our anger personally.

We don't know who we are angry at or why and lash out at those closest to us.


Don't whisper behind us when we enter a room.

We are in pain, but not deaf.


Don't stop calling us after the initial loss.

Our grief does not stop there and we need to know others are thinking of us.

Don't be offended when we don't return calls right away.

We take each moment as it comes and some are worse than others.

Don't tell us to get on with our lives.

We each grieve differently and in our own time frame.

Grief can not be governed by any clock or calendar.

Do say you are sorry. We're sorry, too, and you saying

that you share our sorrow is far better than saying any of those

tired cliches you don't really mean anyway. Just say you're sorry.

Do put your arms around us and hold us.

We need your strength to get us through each day.

Do say you remember our child, if you do.

Memories are all we have left and we cherish them.

Do let us talk about our child.

Our child lived and still lives on in our hearts, forever.

Do mention our child's name. It will not make us sad or hurt our feelings.


Do let us cry. Crying is an important part of the grief process.

Cry with us if you want to.

Do remember us on special dates.

Our child's birth date, death date and holidays are

a very lonely and difficult time for us without our child.

Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember our child.

We do.


Do show our family that you care.

Sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain.


Do be thankful for children.

Nothing hurts us worse than seeing other people in pain.


Latest Memories
Kitrina Farol

I am Brandon's favorite Aunt from Arizona and Shelley's favorite sister.

 

Shelley and I lived in Jamestown ND and visted each other often and sometimes early in the mornings for coffee. One morning I pulled up to Dan and Shelley's house and Brandon was sitting in his sandbox in his underware with their dog. Big smile on his face. This was about 7:30 a.m.

 

As I walked up to him, I noticed he had a bag of hot dogs and he was sharing them with the dog! I said where is your mom Brandon? He replied sleeping. I picked him up and took him inside the house and he was right Dan and Shelley were sleeping.

 

Brandon was about 4 years old then, and he had pulled a chair up to the door to reach the locked deadbolt. He raided the fridge and took the dog to the sandbox to have a early morning picnic.

 

I awoke Dan and Shelley and they freaked a little. This child was very McGiver like. He always could find ways to get what he wanted.

 

We knew by age 4, this kid is going to keep us on our toes. He did!!!!

 

 

Kitrina Farol

Brandon was about 2 or 3 years old and his mother Shelley and I were having coffee one morning in Jamestown ND. Brandon was in his bedroom playing and walked into the livingroom where we were sitting. He would look at us with this wierd face and then leave the room.

 

After Brandon did this the second time, his mom and I walked into his room to see what he was doing. To our suprise he had a match which was wet and sticking it into a light socket. The darn kid was shocking himself! We did catch him before the third go around.

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